With three boys roughly equally spaced I often get the impression that I’ve been here done this before. Not just with clothes, which is inevitable. But with behaviours and play activities.
The first time my oldest threw himself on the floor and let us know how he felt I was stunned, embarrassed and lost. Fast forward the middle one, we could smile and had a few options up our sleeve and now the youngest tried for a week then gave up ( Well right now he’d rather climb than tantrum). We still get thrown a loop don’t get me wrong. Each child is unique and brings a little something the other one didn’t so there is still the challenge but I feel my confidence has grown with each child.
I think play activities can catch you like this too.
We can get a bit like a deer in the headlights. So many options and that crippling tiredness.
Apart from the obvious reach fors. Here are some activities we’ve loved over the years.
5 ways to overcome the play activity blues
If it’s not working, it’s not working try something else
You child may not be ready for crafts, playing by themselves, not creating a mess, always dumpsthe Legos, sit for anything like you expected. Not everyday needs to be a fight. Try something else and come back. Development may happen in steps. I see my children skip steps and fall down the steps all the time. Keep heading toward the goal but don’t get discouraged along the way. My child won’t do craft activities- what now? Childhood games
Repeat. If it worked before it is likely to work again
We all have those moments when the play activity goes well for them, you and the universe. Then we forget what we did or what happened exactly and it’s like a moment of loss. Keep a record of successful activities so when we have, “one of those days” we can try something we know worked well before. That’s not to say it will work well again but we know it did….once.
Getting stuck in a rut is easy. We love routines. Buy the same cereal and coffee. Unless something jumps out at us like a Sale or Advert we’re pretty much creatures of habit. All good except sometimes even we get bored. Trying something new requires more work but the rewards are usually right behind.
If you love reading but 2 hours of reading to your little one is getting old even though you had decided it was what you wanted to do. Try using an Audio story. Love reading yourself but too tired to read at night try a non fiction audio book or parenting podcast.
Change the way you think about play activities. They maybe learning experiences but they need to be fun. Remind yourself of what learning is happening when the button won’t stick with the glue stick ( problem solving). Is our reaction to go and get the white glue or rescue the child? Once you’re retrieved the thrown button and everyone is calmer. What happens next? That lovely activity cut lovingly from the magazine is now a big old mess of high emotions and high expectations but the opportunity to grow socially and emotionally should not be forgotten. Could you change the activity to a science one of investigation, think on your feet? An essential adult skill is the ability to work through problems logically, the knowledge to know when to walk away from situations that are frustrating or dangerous and knowing how to check our feelings. Tell our boss they are a dumb idiot maybe what we want to say, at times but we learn that doesn’t keep us our job and saying something else would have got the same point across.
I guess I’m saying that many times it will be the things you learn as you go along over the end product especially in the Early years. We can help our little guys and appreciate without belittling their efforts.
Today I’m combining the boys two true passions; food and play.
I have one who eats enormous meals and is very light on the snacks.
One who will feels snacks and milk are the better choice-always and OK if I have to eat a meal I will very slowly and whine all the way through.
One who is just happy to eat everything that is about if he can feed himself. He’s been known to climb to get what he wants and wrappers are no test when you can bite a hole in it and squeeze the little something out!
About once a week we bake a cake or cookies.
Everyone gets involved with the weighing ( Yes we use scales!) We use those lovely cup scoops to pour into the bowl. The older boys get to collaborate together. It’s funny how they learn to be a bit more understanding when they know the pay off!
The youngest gets to scoop and pour and the oldest gets to check the measure. Apart from that they swap out who does what.
What I love about cooking with the boys
They get so enthusiastic
They have so many fun ideas like can you add mint and raisins together in a cookie and if we make carrot cake can you have aubergine cake. ( Not tried any of those suggestions…..can’t see how they would work) But their willingness to try and experiment makes me smile. I know one day I won’t be able to distract them.
Most of the time they keep it together.
They do the cookie happy dance and peer into the oven to see if it is done yet.
They are learning about so many things without even realising it.
We have great conversations while we cook.
………….the clean up is amazing and huge but well worth it to me.
Cookies we’re eating this week
85g Crunchy Peanut Butter
175g Soft Butter
175g Soft Brown Sugar
300g Self Raising Flour
2 tbsps of milk
85g Roasted peanuts (2/3 roughly chopped or any combination of seeds/craisins
175g Plain chocolate, roughly chopped.
180C/360F/GM4
Line 2 large baking sheets with non stick paper. Beat the PB.B and S until light and fluffy. ( use an electric whisk or processor)
Add the dry ingredients, stir in the flour and milk then the chopped nuts and chocolate. Bring the mixture together to make a dough
There’ll be approximately 18.
Roughly shape into a ball by rolling the in palm of your hand. Space well apart to allow for spreading.
Flatten each cookie with a fork and sprinkle the remaining nuts.
Bake for about 12-15 minutes until cookies are pale and golden around the edges but still soft in the centre.
Cool for about 5 minutes before packing away.
Ours were crunchy this time instead of chewy. We made small ones and big ones for little hands and little snacks times……well that’s the theory
What cookie recipes do you enjoy cooking with your kids from scratch?
Mothers get a bad reputation in parenting, life, behaviour. I think you name it , it is probably our fault somewhere down the line. There is the constant competition and feeling like we are being judged. After a time you get your own groove, find friends like you and realise that you can only do your best. Work and family life, inside or outside the home is what you make of it. There will always be people who do different things.
Play is no different.
Have you listened to moms at the school gate and felt you didn’t measure up? They were doing things and talking about things you wished happened in your family? What did you do next about it? Brood on their words and become bitter, reflect on their ideas and extract the essence that would work for your family. How we react and what we do makes us important.
So it follows what we don’t do and don’t react to will have a significant bearing on our families.
Early childhood is a crucial time to develop good habits for our children. It is also the craziest time with more children added, probably the tightest time financially and women everywhere trying to decide work in the home or work out the home, with many not having any choices.
It’s a tough time emotionally adjusting to children, making new friends and being in this new situation. Who you have around you is crucial to your own wellbeing as well as your child.
Dr Kirstine Hansen of the Centre for Longitudinal Studies at London’s Institute of Education, research director of the Millennium Cohort Study, analysed the Foundation Stage Profile results of 10,600 children, born in 2000 and 2001, whose development is being tracked by the study.
She found that children who are exposed to any kind of formal childcare are at an advantage in all aspects of development by the end of their first year at school.
My first thought was another study making me choose which side of the fence I’m on. Vindication for some parents and sadness and failure for the other side. Again as parents and mothers in particular we feel like we’re in the playground listening in and realising we don’t do any of those things. We feel like we’ve failed our child so young.
Instead of being paralyzed by our fears. Let’s face it we make mistakes all the time and make better choices all the time. There is something about parenting that makes us so unforgiving of ourselves and others. So many people feel judged by their parenting style or actions. Where is the discussion about how we do things with each other?
The article goes on to state that maternal education was a significant factor of all outcomes. What we decide to do matters! The article makes the case that reading to your child everyday and sending them to a formalised childcare setting before they are 5 will help reduce the gap in attainment once they are all in school.
We can have many reactions to that piece but will you do something for your family and your child? Do you recognise that you’re great in some areas and not in others and would you seek others to do this for you? Personally, I had a long struggle with that one. Do I think I can do it all! No I know I can’t but I still think I know what’s in the best interests for my children.
Build up a network of friends that challenge and support you. Be wary of those that zap your energy and bring drama, too much drama to your life. Hold close those that challenge you to do better and question what you do seems strange in a friendship to some but how do you change if not by being prompted and shown. How many of your friends do you look up to? Who challenges you and asks questions that leave you thinking? How many are happy with their status quo and who isn’t and not doing anything about it either?Keep an eye on your friendships to keep the right balance around you.
Read widely. Non fiction books are not for someone else. Fiction isn’t just for children. Wherever you live and whatever your circumstance reading lifts the mind and changes your attitude and direction in life. Audio books, newspapers, foreign correspondents documentaries show you things you may never experience and most importantly give you a perspective on your life.
Quit feeling that everyone is judging you for your choices. We all start from somewhere. Choose to see the other perspective, hold your tongue at times, be around people that share your views but keep in touch with those that don’t. Above all don’t take things so personally.
Take out the good.
For that article , for me, it was that I need, whatever my background, to set up good reading habits with my child. Not worry about what I haven’t done but decide today how I can do this. Maybe you realised you’re not as playful as you thought you would be as a parent or not as patient.
What we do next is the important thing. … if this study says one thing to me it is that maternal influence is very important.What we do, say and how we guide and lead our families
Our mother’s attitude will colour our families attitude, thoughts and behaviours.
What helps you make the right choices for your family?
Treasure basket play is used in many different ways. There are many who say if you deviate from the Elinor Goldschmied’s method then it is not a true Treasure Basket and shouldn’t be called one. I like to hold to the principles but feel that a lot can be achieved if you change things to fit your lifestyle.
Treasure baskets are a great play activity for sitting to approximately 12months olds. However towards that year mark they like to start throwing the objects, well mine certainly did. Parents also get concern that they are not just mouthing but chewing and being destructive with these objects and start putting them away.
What to do?
Changing the type of items available may be a better choice.
Perhaps try a theme instead of an eclectic mix.
If they like biting: metal items
If they like sound: musical items ( bought or homemade)
If they like touch: fabrics, cardboard, sandpaper
Adapt the treasure basket from being a sitting independent basket to a more collaborative basket, at times. To me it is a treasure basket because of all the treasure and goodies inside but to many others not.
Try Containers
After 12months my LO and still at 18m0nths has a fascination with containers. We collect empty food containers, for a time as well as collect containers when they are on sale. There is something about pushing stuff inside and pulling stuff out that he can’t get enough of. Having a collection of ever changing containers really keeps him entertained and totally engaged. He’s is totally learning while he is playing.
The difference is that this is deliberate play. I gathered the materials and let him have at it. Rather than he found them himself and got to play with them for a time before I took them from him. Both ways maybe playing but one way gives him more opportunities to exercise his curiosity and wear his scientists coat. The other way is a lot more stressful and emotionally charged.
The best thing about Treasure Baskets is how you can find so many delights in your own home without having to go and buy anything extra. You just have to put on your “Treasure Basket glasses” on. Meaning, looking at your house, cupboards, pantry, bathroom etc always with an eye to use.
Empty wipes box containers and tissue boxes. I can’t tell you how much fun we’ve had with them. Using new boxes is fine and transferring tissues and wipes to zipper bags also works.
You child maybe past the 12month stage but don’t give up on the Treasure Basket idea. There are so many things to be discovered in a basket…………..figures, stories, games and lots of imagination and discovery.
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