It’s time to hear a bit more about you. I’ve tried a few new things recently and wanted your take on the direction of Play Activities.  You come here for many different reasons.  Since it’s 2010 and the year of the census I’m warming you up with a mini survey or is it getting you before you’re tired of filling out surveys?

This is a quick one of 10 questions. Everyone who participates will be entered in a drawing for a $10 Starbucks Gift Card. All you need to do is answer the questions and when you are done come back and leave a comment that you filled it out. This will remain open for a week. I will draw a winner for the gift card Monday 22nd March 2010.

Thank you.

Click here to take the Play Activities survey

Everyday objects will always hold a fascination to the little ones. We don’t have a huge separation of objects as toys but do have ones some that belong to them and belong to us. Largely because we need the object at the same time so it is just easier. But mostly we share.

Yesterday you saw the LO sorting.

He is loving this pouring, dumping and putting back stage. To help him I placed in his cupboard two empty icecube trays. After banging on these for a bit I brought him a small baggy of sticky letters and shapes . His brothers were crafting with them around the corner. He merrily sat there for quite a while filling each hole. Dumping them all and filling each hole again. I stayed and  played with him for a minute naming colours as he dropped them in. Rearranging them into groups of colours. He dumped them when I did this so I got the message and stopped .

I do control the baggy after play otherwise that stuff would trail around the house.

………..Turning little moments into playful moments.

Thanks for reading Tell me Thursday. If you would like to see the WW photo that goes with this post  please go to WW: Sort it out!

For more Wordless Wednesday posts visit : Wordless Wednesday and 5 minutes for mom.

Find out more about this photo tomorrow with Tell me Thursday

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Raising Playful Tots is an Internet radio or Podcast available 24hrs a day . Host: Melitsa Avila of Play Activities. Download each episode yourself visit each show notes to do this or have iTunes do this automatically for you.

Week 28th Feb 2010: Large family play….with Meagan Francis of www.thehappiestmom.com shares her experience of managing a family of 5 and play. When you have a large family the way you play may change and the dynamics of play.

Listen to the show .

Keep up to date with new show by signing up for the newsletter. When you sign up for the newsletter you get a free 11 page special report 10 ways to extend your child’s play. New show on Wednesday!

This is a follow up on the pretend play post to yesterdays: Getting past superheros and princesses

Photo credit: Dalla*

What to do?

React and get rid of all commercial pretend play dressing up clothes
I don’t think this would teach them anything but to covet and long for these items even more.
Limit the amount of play with commercial dressing up clothes from licensed products
This I now do more intentionally. Those items just disappear from their boxes for a time and the drs, vets, jesters,firemen, king costumes etc that are now lurking at the bottom get an air out and play. Yes they do ask me where their other costumes have gone with worried faces. They are old enough and used to rotation of toys that they understand that they will be back. They do come back.
Introduce pretend play ideas
It is never too late, in my opinion to introduce fun and new ways to play. You can turn a child’s fascination and joy into another direction by showing them new ways. Now they may not want to do or continue to do what you suggest but the willingness of you to suggest and play with them  usually is enough for them to give it a try out.

You have to get into it and really go with your best acting skills. Your child knows you so knows when you’re being half-hearted, as we know with them. Bluff and enthusiasm covers so much doubt and our feelings of inadequacy as parents. They don’t care that your voice is off key or that your costume is lame or your story making needs more structure…………we cripple ourselves with that worry. They love the interaction.

Here’s what I am going to try

• Note 3 books that they love in the next week that are not to do with a superhero, which shouldn’t be too difficult given that less than 3% of our books are like that.
• Think about the characters in those stories
• Think about what I have around the house that I could use for the characters. With these 3 rules. Everyday items, keep it simple and easy to reproduce again.
• When we/they read those books I’ll introduce my character with a new voice. Perhaps I’ll continue the story or go before the story.
• Now since it’s not a mum show I’ll ask lots of questions to get them into the story. “What will happen to him next?” Where should he go? How should she do that? show me where the secret house is located? Tell me what happens next…… gradually easing out of the story and letting them continue.

Now they have a framework of a story and how to get there from a common storybook to pretend playing in costume and role. It’s not my story and neither will I say, that’s not how it goes.

Other things to encourage a range of role playing pretend play ideas I wish I had done at the beginning

• Added sheets, pillow cases and lengths of material to their boxes. Shown them how the green duvet is grass today and magic carpet tomorrow.
• Bought some ends of materials with various textures or visited the charity shops for sheets, curtains, ropes.
• Visit the charity shops and allowed them to browse with story telling in mind. That funny shaped cup could have held a secret. Bought unusual things to add to their box.
• Discovered Sarah’s Silks
• Encouraged any of the places we visited like the Parent coop and preschool to encourage dressing up as characters from stories. The only dress ups actively encouraged was Halloween. Kids did come all the time dressed up in wellies or other costumes but there wasn’t a special day like World book day or a specific broad theme, like the nativity that you couldn’t sneak a superhero costume in. Although I’m sure there were a few princess costumes doubling as angel costumes.
• Read The Case for Make Believe: Saving Play in a Commercialized World

I do worry about their story telling abilities if they are left to play superheroes and princesses all the time.

As parents and carers we need to be active encouraging a range of play opportunities. I’m looking for ideas. How would you and how do you deal with the Superhero/Princess invasion into their pretend play.

Imaginary play, dramatic play, dressing up, dress ups, pretend play so many different names for almost the same thing.

Do your children like to dress up?

Photo credit: Angelina

We were lucky enough to be visiting extended family in the UK when we bought our first dressing up costume fully made.

Before then we just pretended.
Seeing such obvious pleasure we started receiving dressing up clothes for birthdays and Christmas with the same zeal. And so their dressing up chests began.

But what if we had started with the basic pieces, I wonder would we be in the same situation now?

Let me backtrack a little.

Living in a play void

It’s not an excuse I felt I lived in a play void.  At the time I didn’t have influencers as I do now or people who would hold me accountable for this or that style of play.

The play around me was of the electronic kind heavy with passivity. This was the new shiny toy for everyone.

I was new to the area and didn’t have the connections to ‘my people’ you know the ones you always find that are just like you in a new area. We were all trying our best and flitting from one thing to another.

We take for granted what we have around us like good friends and influences but I  missed having a book section to browse. We had a great library but without books already there how do you know which books to browse if you don’t know the section or the section is empty.  So like countless mothers and women before me and since, I do the best I can with what I have, my memories and thoughts.

Way to encourage pretend play

• Not having much else to do . We instead read books a lot because they weren’t in short supply.
• We liked to do voices and  act out sections by saying, ” show me how the elephant was moving through the jungle?”
• We used everyday items as we saw them to be something. We would often hear and still hear in our house. “Hey look at this, guess what I am?/this is?” as we would have a long sleeve not yet on dangling from our nose, stooped back ( elephant)

So we liked to fool around and pretend play.

We didn’t however get into grabbing everyday clothes from our wardrobes.

The kids did when they were at the grandparents house because they have amazing wardrobes that go back decades and you can find some really interesting things hidden in there. ( I still remember the platform shoes from my childhood. I used to wear. Still around for my boys)

What changed?

We jumped from the imaginary play that used pure imagination to costumes pretty quickly and here is where I think we missed the foundations.

We were good at using toys to fuel our imagination and books. We played restaurants and car wash but not really characters or people. So when the costumes arrived this void was filled with superheroes in our case.

Is this type of pretend play bad?

Clearly they love their superheroes but their play stagnates. The superhero always wins out and saves some helpless person. While I let my sons play this, I don’t think I would be able to stop them frankly or want to, I do think this is what they crave but I do draw the line at how often they play.

Even with the countless books we have read together and now have around them this fixed pretend play isn’t pretend play at all but rehashes of programs they have watched. In a household were TV is limited I still note how pervasive TV and marketing has taken hold in our household.

The question is what to do next? What do you do to keep your play real? Do you actively influence the pretend play in your home? Is too much play really a bad thing?

I’m looking for ideas. ……… one place I’ll start is with the Simple Kids post this week.

Technorati Tags: Imaginary play, dramatic play, dressing up, dress ups, pretend play

With three boys roughly equally spaced I often get the impression that I’ve been here done this before. Not just with clothes, which is inevitable. But with behaviours and play activities.

Photo credit: sean dreilinger

The first time my oldest threw himself on the floor and let us know how he felt I was stunned, embarrassed and lost. Fast forward the middle one, we could smile and had a few options up our sleeve and now the youngest tried for a week then gave up ( Well right now he’d rather climb than tantrum). We still get thrown a loop don’t get me wrong. Each child is unique and brings a little something the other one didn’t so there is still the challenge but I feel my confidence has grown with each child.

I think play activities can catch you like this too.

We can get a bit like a deer in the headlights. So many options and that crippling tiredness.

Apart from the obvious reach fors. Here are some activities we’ve loved over the years.

5 ways to overcome the play activity blues

If it’s not working, it’s not working try something else

You child may not be ready for crafts, playing by themselves, not creating a mess, always dumps the Legos, sit for anything like you expected. Not everyday needs to be a fight. Try something else and come back. Development may happen in steps. I see my children skip steps and fall down the steps all the time. Keep heading toward the goal but don’t get discouraged along the way.
My child won’t do craft activities- what now?
Childhood games

More time for play

Stuck on pretend play

Repeat. If it worked before it is likely to work again

We all have those moments when the play activity goes well for them, you and the universe. Then we forget what we did or what happened exactly and it’s like a moment of loss. Keep a record of successful activities so when we have, “one of those days” we can try something we know worked well before. That’s not to say it will work well again but we know it did….once.

Play activity: Roll the dice

Play activity:Make a learning wheel.
Play activity: The crocodimes are coming!
Rebus reading

Try a new activity

Getting stuck in a rut is easy. We love routines. Buy the same cereal and coffee. Unless something jumps out at us like a Sale or Advert we’re pretty much creatures of habit. All good except sometimes even we get bored. Trying something new requires more work but the rewards are usually right behind.

If you love reading but 2 hours of reading to your little one is getting old even though you had decided it was what you wanted to do. Try using an Audio story. Love reading yourself but too tired to read at night try a non fiction audio book or parenting podcast.

Portable play activity

Roundup of play ideas and activities
Waiting for Preschool play activity

Places to find activities-

• ask your mother what you did?
• Online activity sites
• Ask on forums
• watch a How to Video

Process over product

Change the way you think about play activities. They maybe learning experiences but they need to be fun. Remind yourself of what learning is happening when the button won’t stick with the glue stick ( problem solving). Is our reaction to go and get the white glue or rescue the child? Once you’re retrieved the thrown button and everyone is calmer. What happens next? That lovely activity cut lovingly from the magazine is now a big old mess of high emotions and high expectations but the opportunity to grow socially and emotionally should not be forgotten. Could you change the activity to a science one of investigation, think on your feet? An essential adult skill is the ability to work through problems logically, the knowledge to know when to walk away from situations that are frustrating or dangerous and knowing how to check our feelings. Tell our boss they are a dumb idiot maybe what we want to say, at times but we learn that doesn’t keep us our job and saying something else would have got the same point across.

I guess I’m saying that many times it will be the things you learn as you go along over the end product especially in the Early years. We can help our little guys and appreciate without belittling their efforts.

Sensory play 5 Taste

Go outside

Whether the weather be hot.

Whether the weather be cold

Whether the weather, whatever the weather, whether you like it or not……………………..Go Outside!

Changes everyone’s moods.

What a walk!

How curious?
Playground family fun
What’s happening in your playground?

What do you do when you have the play activity blues?

If you have a post or resource about overcoming the play activity blues to add feel free to add this in the comments as well.

Play Activities are about fun!

Today I’m combining the boys two true passions; food and play.

I have one who eats enormous meals and is very light on the snacks.

One who will feels snacks and milk are the better choice-always and OK if I have to eat a meal I will very slowly and whine all the way through.

One who is just happy to eat everything that is about if he can feed himself. He’s been known to climb to get what he wants and wrappers are no test when you can bite a hole in it and squeeze the little something out!

About once a week we bake a cake or cookies.

Everyone gets involved with the weighing ( Yes we use scales!) We use those lovely cup scoops to pour into the bowl. The older boys get to collaborate together. It’s funny how they learn to be a bit more understanding when they know the pay off!

The youngest gets to scoop and pour and the oldest gets to check the measure. Apart from that they swap out who does what.

What I love about cooking with the boys

• They get so enthusiastic
• They have so many fun ideas like can you add mint and raisins together in a cookie and if we make carrot cake can you have aubergine cake. ( Not tried any of those suggestions…..can’t see how they would work) But their willingness to try and experiment makes me smile. I know one day I won’t be able to distract them.
• Most of the time they keep it together.
• They do the cookie happy dance and peer into the oven to see if it is done yet.
• They are learning about so many things without even realising it.
• We have great conversations while we cook.

………….the clean up is amazing and huge but well worth it to me.

Cookies we’re eating this week

85g Crunchy Peanut Butter

175g Soft Butter

175g Soft Brown Sugar

300g Self Raising Flour

2 tbsps of milk

85g Roasted peanuts (2/3 roughly chopped or any combination of seeds/craisins

175g Plain chocolate, roughly chopped.

180C/360F/GM4

1. Line 2 large baking sheets with non stick paper. Beat the PB.B and S until light and fluffy. ( use an electric whisk or processor)
2. Add the dry ingredients, stir in the flour and milk then the chopped nuts and chocolate. Bring the mixture together to make a dough
3. There’ll be approximately 18.



4. Roughly shape into a ball by rolling the in palm of your hand. Space well apart to allow for spreading.
5. Flatten each cookie with a fork and sprinkle the remaining nuts.
6. Bake for about 12-15 minutes until cookies are pale and golden around the edges but still soft in the centre.
7. Cool for about 5 minutes before packing away.

Ours were crunchy this time instead of chewy. We made small ones and big ones for little hands and little snacks times……well that’s the theory

What cookie recipes do you enjoy cooking with your kids from scratch?

You’re not the boss of me!

Mothers get a bad reputation in parenting, life, behaviour. I think you name it , it is probably our fault somewhere down the line. There is the constant competition and feeling like we are being judged. After a time you get your own groove, find friends like you and realise that you can only do your best. Work and family life, inside or outside the home is what you make of it. There will always be people who do different things.

Play is no different.

Have you listened to moms at the school gate and felt you didn’t measure up? They were doing things and talking about things you wished happened in your family? What did you do next about it? Brood on their words and become bitter, reflect on their ideas and extract the essence that would work for your family. How we react and what we do makes us important.

So it follows what we don’t do and don’t react to will have a significant bearing on our families.

Early childhood is a crucial time to develop good habits for our children. It is also the craziest time with more children added, probably the tightest time financially and women everywhere trying to decide work in the home or work out the home, with many not having any choices.

It’s a tough time emotionally adjusting to children, making new friends and being in this new situation. Who you have around you is crucial to your own wellbeing as well as your child.

This is illustrated in the Millenium study:

Dr Kirstine Hansen of the Centre for Longitudinal Studies at London’s Institute of Education, research director of the Millennium Cohort Study, analysed the Foundation Stage Profile results of 10,600 children, born in 2000 and 2001, whose development is being tracked by the study.

She found that children who are exposed to any kind of formal childcare are at an advantage in all aspects of development by the end of their first year at school.

My first thought was another study making me choose which side of the fence I’m on. Vindication for some parents and sadness and failure for the other side. Again as parents and mothers in particular we feel like we’re in the playground listening in and realising we don’t do any of those things. We feel like we’ve failed our child so young.

Instead of being paralyzed by our fears. Let’s face it we make mistakes all the time and make better choices all the time. There is something about parenting that makes us so unforgiving of ourselves and others. So many people feel judged by their parenting style or actions. Where is the discussion about how we do things with each other?

The article goes on to state that maternal education was a significant factor of all outcomes. What we decide to do matters! The article makes the case that reading to your child everyday and sending them to a formalised childcare setting before they are 5 will help reduce the gap in attainment once they are all in school.

We can have many reactions to that piece but will you do something for your family and your child? Do you recognise that you’re great in some areas and not in others and would you seek others to do this for you? Personally, I had a long struggle with that one. Do I think I can do it all! No I know I can’t but I still think I know what’s in the best interests for my children.

How can I make the right choices?

photo credit: Sandra Leidholdt

Build up a network of friends that challenge and support you. Be wary of those that zap your energy and bring drama, too much drama to your life. Hold close those that challenge you to do better and question what you do seems strange in a friendship to some but how do you change if not by being prompted and shown. How many of your friends do you look up to? Who challenges you and asks questions that leave you thinking? How many are happy with their status quo and who isn’t and not doing anything about it either?Keep an eye on your friendships to keep the right balance around you.

Read widely. Non fiction books are not for someone else. Fiction isn’t just for children. Wherever you live and whatever your circumstance reading lifts the mind and changes your attitude and direction in life. Audio books, newspapers, foreign correspondents documentaries show you things you may never experience and most importantly give you a perspective on your life.

Quit feeling that everyone is judging you for your choices.  We all start from somewhere. Choose to see the other perspective, hold your tongue at times, be around people that share your views but keep in touch with those that don’t. Above all don’t take things so personally.

Take out the good.

For that article , for me, it was that I need, whatever my background, to set up good reading habits with my child. Not worry about what I haven’t done but decide today how I can do this. Maybe you realised you’re not as playful as you thought you would be as a parent or not as patient.

What we do next is the important thing. … if this study says one thing to me it is that maternal influence is very important.What we do, say and how we guide and lead our families

Our mother’s attitude will colour our families attitude, thoughts and behaviours.

What helps you make the right choices for your family?

This post is part of the Moms’ 30-Minute Blog Challenge

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