February 6th, 2012 Preparing a place of choice Posted by Melitsa in language, play activities, Thought of the week

During the toddler and preschool years the word, “No!” becomes a very powerful word. It derails the happy atmosphere, stops a quick exit on errands, means we scoop our little one off the floor in that shop and march out. They want an input. They want a choice.

As a parent you can allow for extra time for the No! We get all forceful and insistent. Neither of these work well overtime. Even we as parents need to practise what to do when we get that No. It’s hard to play with a child that insists on having things their way or you having it totally your way. Personal, social and emotional development is a crucial aspect of play. We need to be able to get along and well. This is the first of a two-part series.
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Practice when you are calm and have a script

Think about what you will say when they are shouting and yelling at you. Replay times when you saw this or experienced this and work out what you could do differently and try it out.

Getting down to their level; looking them in the eye and smile. The smile is for you to calm down however brief. Watch how other people  de-escalate their children and try it out.

Identify 2-3 activities at home to regularly give choices

Practise choice activities at home. Choose choices that you are happy with either option. Keep them simple. Children have very few choices so  having the red counter or the blue counter when playing the board game may seem trivial to us but they don’t see it that way.

Choices like; clothes, food, activity, play.

• Scrambled eggs or cereal?
• Blue jeans or green trousers with Bob on the side?
• Pretend food or Dolls?

What’s your number one struggle with your under 5?

February 3rd, 2012 Teaching kids sportsmanship Posted by Melitsa in Education, play activities, Thought of the week

Ever wonder if the play activities you do and the values you teach really stick with your child?
Ever played with a child and been beaten in a simple game?

It happened this week and really illustrated something to me worth sharing. We need to teach our kids sportsmanship intentionally. It can’t be a happy accident or rob them of the chance by artificially bending the rules, too far for them to miss the opportunity of learning.

What happened?

He was thrilled to have won, not just once but three times at dominoes. I didn’t let him win. It’s how the dominoes played out. ( As anyone knows who’s played dominoes with me; I’m no domino player- just matching!) The joy of his win was right there. I said the right things; Good game and congratulated him on the thrashing he gave me.

He gave me a hug and said. Thanks for playing mum. Then wanted to reassure me that we could play three more games so I could win. We then had an interesting discussion about winning and losing and how we both felt. Being able to bring it up again at dinner to the family helped.

Play – Model- Play- Reinforce- Play

What they need

They need to have practise to articulate their feelings and put their thoughts into words, with us. When we play with them we give that opporrtunity. If we let them win all the time they don’t know what to say or do when they lose elsewhere.

The bigger test will be how he responds now in company and away from home

Do you let them win?

 

January 31st, 2012 31 days to a more Playful Tot {Day Thirty One} Creating a playspace Posted by Melitsa in 31 days, Memes, play activities, Thought of the week

Today we’ve come to the last day of 31 days to a more playful tot. Each day there’s been a chance of thought, growth, action and reflection. While we’re not aiming at making perfect playful children and recognise that we have to do, fail and learn ourselves; I hope we’ve all found some new things to try.

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I’ve always been in awe of beautiful play spaces. However as a military family it has never been practical to create these amazing areas. Also, I feel that most of the world has much smaller spaces to deal with with children. There isn’t always the luxury of a playroom just a play corner. Most people have rooms with multiple functions so need a way to conceal yet have access to both things.

This slideshow does just that…..

Here’s a chance to think about your small area; one chunk at a time. Transform the playspace you have.
Thanks for sharing in the journey of 31 days to a more playful tot.

Enjoy the slideshow.

1. Eco friendly playroom
2. Hand print calendar 
3. A Quiet Place: DIY A-Frame Tent
4. Display 
5. Use garden hanging baskets
6. Creating-waldorf-indoor-playspaces
7. Play stands
8. Displaying board games
9. Photograph art then toss
10. Create A Large Scale Art Center
11. Storage and display
12.  Chilling out areas
13. A magnetic, chalkboard, dry erase,with sliding ladder WALL!
14. Fun pebble cushions 

January 22nd, 2012 31 days to a more Playful Tot {Day Twenty two} 7 words that help shorten an outburst Posted by Melitsa in 31 days, Memes, play activities, Thought of the week

Ever been derailed by an outburst or tantrum?

Our instinct is to rise above it. Sometimes you need to but not always.

We do need a strategy for when a tantrum strikes. A strategy presumes then that you’ve tried many different ways and you have something now that works for you and your family. What works for one doesn’t always work for another. Even the same thing doesn’t always work for siblings or the same child all the time. Don’t let that stop you from finding something that works. Having a bunch of different ideas about how to work through this outburst is super helpful- as not all outbursts are created equal.

Read More…

January 15th, 2012 31 days to a more Playful Tot {Day Fifteen} Let’s get social Posted by Melitsa in 31 days, Memes, play activities, Thought of the week

We all want our children to be social and truth be told, we probably feel we do a lot already to keep them social. Today I wanted to look at a bit more critically at what we do and if there’s room for improvement; refocus and a little patting on the back.

Let’s look at some positive things we can do in 2012 to get our children ready for play in the 21st Century world.Look at the questions below and take a quick survey of your family.

who do they mix with?

Is there a diversity of race?

Do you mix with homeschoolers?

Have you met with unschoolers?

How would they ( and you) react to playing with children from a diverse class background? ( Often we don’t know until we try!)

Do they meet with meaningful adults like family or close friends regularly?

Are their opportunities for a group of same-sex children to meet together and play collaboratively? ( side by side or totally independently?)

Especially if you have same-sex children, do they mix on playdates and group settings with children of the opposite sex?

what do they see?

Can they learn tolerance and perseverance from older children?

Can they focus on restraint, patience and empathy with younger children?

Will they ever get to experience the fun of playing with twins?

Do they see children with disabilities and have opportunities to see them play and experience play with them?

Would they be able to identify a group of children as their best buddies?

Can you be sure at how they might react in unfamiliar settings with unfamiliar children? ( Have you tested it recently?)

Will our children have access to adults in various work situations earning various pay?

How do we share with our children how different children play around the world? and show them that what we do here probably isn’t what  they do elsewhere. That’s not necessarily a bad thing or good thing but it’s something they should start appreciating in our global world.

how do you offer opportunities?

Not sure where to go try directories from parent forums and websites

Notice church groups as you drive around

Noticeboards and Craigslist

Word of mouth opportunities ask at libraries, Youth clubs, Education buildings, Doctors office
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Ask on your social networks.

Things to watch….

Are we doing too much?

One on one play with our child ( Too much of anything isn’t good. Not enough isn’t good either. Letting them experience your presence and other people’s presence is essential for you both)

Socializing via shopping with them in their buggy (We need to go shopping. It’s not usually a good outlet for socialization, for them. We have to call it what it is shopping)

Food and play areas associating play with fast food ( It’s not whether it’s acceptable just if it’s the default or primary place for socialization. We all need variety!)

Consistently avoiding all playgroups due to a bad experience ( Not minimizing your experience. There are likely to be other playgroups. Try another one this week)

Worry that your child will grab, push,punch, kick another child or that these things will happen to them ( There’s lots of advice about solutions to these problems. Avoidance is only one way to deal with it. There are many others)

Fancy some more reading?

Socialization of homeschool children debated on Simple Homeschool Facebook page

Gender-Role Development – The Development of Sex and Gender

The Myth of Socialization

Playing is Socializing

Scientific American: The Serious Need for Play

How much do you socialize your old year old?

Now you’ve identified an area….what are your first steps in getting your toddler 21 Century socialized?

 

Click here to read the rest of the posts in the series, 31 Days to a more Playful Tot.