Some days you just get blown away by the simplicity of a message. Today was that day.

Do you ever find yourself  doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. What about the children do you see that in them? How do you get them to move to a point where they can set simple goals and achieve them. Concentrate and persevere in an age appropriate manner.

I’m a totally a visual person so really appreciated Dr Becky Bailey  demonstrations and explanation on the importance of developing the executive state in the frontal lobe. Before you switch off thinking oh no brain science how will this impact my child let me encourage you with a few highlights.

0:00 Those exercises were hard.

3:00  Dr  Bailey warms up by talking about How we need to help our children set goals, achieve them, resolve conflicts, develop empathy and see things from a different perspective and access their own creative force.

Explains the three stats of problem solving and conflict resolution

08:05 Dr Bailey shares how we wire the brain for success

9:46  This is a typical situation we can all relate to

10:32 Here’s your actions What we need to do! ( You have to hear the beginning though for this to make complete sense. Otherwise you’re likely to want to skip without the foundation)

13:19 The problems of separation of the 3 states vs connection

14: 19  The journey to self-regulation

15:10-15:58  This was the best visual of  Who is the boss of me?
As we’ve seen in our 31 day series so far the focus has been heavily on how we come to the play table. What we bring with us? Our own experiences aren’t always adequate. Thinking and ideas have changed. Sharing and discussion of play ideals helps us to find our play levels.

We are also big believers in testing what works; not throwing out the baby with bath water because an idea comes from a previous generation. It is amazing how much playtime you both can enjoy as we expand our knowledge, experiment and change the scripts we say and the actions we do.

Watch the video!

Let me know what you think in the comments

Click here to read the rest of the posts in the series, 31 Days to a more Playful Tot.

31 days to a more Playful Tot {Day Twenty Three} Problem solving is a post from: Play-Activities.com
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Every now and then I’m reminded about how I need to give my son’s choices.

Choices that I can live with. Not any old choice.

I eagerly absorbed the principles and practises of Love and Logic, after attending a course in 2004. The power of choice seemed like a really good idea. I felt I was ahead of the curve. It worked.

Our next child threw us the curve ball and now we looked at 123 Magic. We now had a mix of ideas. I was glad for the different ideas as it made me think. There you go made me think so I needed to make sure that if I wanted to raise thinking children I needed to give them opportunities to make them think.

This is not new. None of us like to be told what to do all the time. However in our time pressured society we just don’t have the time, usually to give choices. I’ve talked about our walk to Nursery and how I needed to slow down and effectively smell the coffee. Today I want to talk about how the power of questions can really change your children’s outlook.

The biggest battle of wills

They don’t want to do or have what you are offering because you are only telling them. With their new voice, No is the best word in the world. They see the power. We need to give them chance to say, Yes!

Love and Logic, if I remember rightly, encourage as many choices as you can. We never thought that made total sense for our family.Partly because we’re just not able to think of at least two choices for everything we want to do at the time.  You have to think carefully.

Do you want to wear the blue shirt or the red shirt here?

Neither shirt is a problem to you.

They are more playful when they feel like they’ve had a say in their environment. So are we. It involved a change of mindset for us to think this way constantly.

Oatmeal or cereal?       OJ or milk?          This book or that book?

Learning can be either passive or active. Passive learning is when the parent is responsible for all learning conditions. Parents direct and children comply. Passive learning is easier for parents to do than active learning, but less beneficial for children….. Active learning is not only more exciting for children but usually results in better intellectual development

Ready to Learn: Goldberg

It starts simply with things like choosing which socks, and even this can seem like a hassle but they really love it. It’s part of the power we can give away. It continues with choices about food and learning how to express preference clearly and nicely, whether they be negative, neutral or positive. It continues with dinner games and question cards and leads to full discussions and learning about our children.

Communicating our values

Values are communicated and if we don’t’ hear what our children are thinking we have no chance of communicating our values to them in a way that they’ll be able to take on new information and make good choices about to do with these thoughts. I’m sure you’ve had the experience that what came out of your mouth was alien to what you thought you’d ever really say or even believe. But in the saying you realized it and perhaps changed or did something about it.

Yesterday we were reviewing our chore list for the umpteenth time. I want it to work. They want it to work. It breaks down regularly. After listening to a show about entitlement I decided to battle the chore problem yet again.
This time I added a time element….. It boiled down to having three chores and them deciding when to do them. Immediately they both sussed they didn’t need to do each chore each day. They had to decide when they would do it, how often etc. They asked me a lot of questions. Do I expect they will be perfect? No. But here’s a great opportunity to try out their decision-making process.

Last evening, over dinner, I asked how their chores went for the day. Proudly the oldest gave me his reasoning of why he’s decided to do his that way. His middle brother was listening. The middle one gave his very different version. I was able to ask how did it work for you? ( In true Dr Phil fashion!) We had an interesting dialogue about the struggles and they asked and each gave different answers.

Decision- making and the power of questions

At that moment, for the briefest of time, it didn’t matter if they had done the chores. Here they were actively discussing decision-making; the pitfalls of their brother’s ideas and congratulating them on what they did. I loved the process. The chores, to be honest were executed pretty well but they are a long work in progress.
It’s not always like this but I really believe the foundation of choices and active learning helps them to make decisions. They know we have each others back and we’re not afraid with our advice if we’re not sure.

How do you translate the power of questions into your family?

Click here to read the rest of the posts in the series, 31 Days to a more Playful Tot.

31 days to a more Playful Tot {Day Ten} The Power of Questions is a post from: Play-Activities.com
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Melissa over at Chasing Cheerios mentioned a Cultural Exchange  just before the Summer. It sounded a great idea.

The idea was to send a packgae out that represented your country to a group of people. Melissa coordinated the whole thing. We were in a group of 6 people. 6 packages- how difficult would that be?

Naturally life gets busy during the summer. My husband was back after a year deployment so life was hectic. The kids also spent a large portion with Grandparents. I didn’t want to send activities for them to do. Hanging out with the Grandparents was all that was required.

So September rolls around and back to school. Again super busy. The boys and I worked really  hard on finding UK things and what they wanted.

This is what we selected for our package. Each one was a little different.

• ELC money in Euros and Sterling
• Twining fruit Tea. (We’re big fruit tea drinkers but we were thinking of the kids- no caffeine!)
• Mini chocolate digestives ( I had to buy a second packet the first packets got…er..um eaten)
• Love hearts and traditional sweets
• keyring with a tourist attraction from the UK/London. Here we have the traditional phone box. Not many of these around.
• Make a flag activity
• Information pack about the K including recipes
• Drawn picture of a Beefeater costume.

Imagine that duplicated 6 times. It was an interesting time at the post office sending these off.

Next the wait…….

So far we’ve received one from Arizonia and one from Japan.

The boys are beyond excited to open them up. We unpacked them at Dinnertime.

If you get the chance to participate in an exchange….do!

There are lots of physical swaps online. I spoke about the International Postcard Swap  on the podcast recently.

Have you participated in any swaps? Share the links below

Cultural Exchange is a post from: Play-Activities.com
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On a recent visit to an Art Gallery in Prague, Czech Republic. I was delighted to come up against these wonderful collages or sculpture by Shalom Tomas Neuman.
Love how everyday toys, electronic items are used to create really zany pictures.

You can see more about the work here,

Art at home does not’ have to be about pen, crayons and paper. Hope you’re inspired from your environment too.

What art work have you taken your little ones to see that you would recommend?

Collage and sculpture inspirations is a post from: Play-Activities.com
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It’s probably something that most of us can relate to in the popular book, Too Many Toys by David Shannon, of the poor dad stepping on LEGO pieces.

LEGO this summer has come into its own with all the boys. With our age span from 3 to 8 now we have many different types.

On a recent visit to Jen of Muminthemadhouse the LO played with her boy’s LEGO Space set. It was a rare and not forgotten treat.

All the way home he talked about the “Plane” meaning shuttle. Other peoples LEGO is so exciting and it makes you think and create in different ways.

We’ve been happy to find huge tubs of it a car book sales lately. While I’m happy for the boys my heart aches for hoovering around that stuff. So far the grand finds have been at their Grandparents’ house so they are getting the pleasure of LEGO. I know in a few weeks though that all most of  that LEGO will be making it’s way back here.

What keeps me sane with LEGO?

Letting go!

I know that LEGO will be around the house. It’s really not the biggest deal. We live in our home and always have. I expect to see that kids live in a home and one of their things is that they drift and leave stuff. I love that active play in them to do this.

Listening

Have you listened to your kids, when they don’t know you’re there, playing with LEGO? It’s a joy! They so totally get into it and absorbed. The situations and scenarios they play out are long and complex. Yes some of them are based upon familiar characters but I’ve seen a lot of crossover from books, real life and just imagination.

Time

LEGO has been a huge hit this summer and 3 little boys have sat, squirmed and rushed around for huge swathes of time inside and out setting their own play. They’ve completely got lost in the play and can’t believe it’s meal time or anything else. That’s a great thing! It’s how I remember summer being.

Light flash!

Today I hit upon and idea that just works well for me. Hoovering is hard.I don’t want to suck up those little extra pieces but it happens, at times. So I found a box and as I was tidying the room for hoovering I dropped the pieces in there. I did this for two rooms. Look at the booty I found!

I think the boys will love me! More Lego is like ice cream- you just can’t have enough!

It’s a simple tip that perhaps you already did but it’s saved my sanity. I don’t feel so annoyed and frustrated at all these little pieces.

Sometimes WE choose the toys that suit US as parents for ease of use, lack of pieces, quick, expensive, electronic, no mess because it’s EASIER for us. It’s not that we do all the opposites of those listed we have our days too when we need to do differently.

What I’m trying to do though is find a way for the boys to participate in unstructured and the messy and make it work in our home. Intentionally finding a way to make play opportunities work that are ideal and welcomed because they allow the kids to shine and play in ways that will surprise.

This box…. sets me on the road.

Photo credit: justmalia

Do you have any LEGO storage tips for me?

P.S I would love to do this for the boys room. What a creative way to store LEGO!

Finding LEGO is a post from: Play-Activities.com
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Birmingham Public Library (AL)

Listening to audio is a skill that’s not confined to just car journeys. There are many times when we need to add some downtime or slow the pace down.

Listening is a very active form and a really easy way to provide imagination, inspiration and entertainment.

Here are 3 go to places for active listening

Listen and Play

This is part of the BBC school programming and is published on a Tuesday. They are available on demand for 7 days after broadcast.

Each programme includes familiar songs, rhymes, stories and sound discrimination games to develop children’s phonological awareness and confidence with spoken language.

Each show has kept my little one interested and we’ve subscribed via iTunes so can listen again to older versions. if you live outside of the UK access to the BBC iplayer is restricted but you can subscribe via iTunes and download as a podcast.

Listen and play

Playtime

P-L-A-Y-T-I-M-E …It’s PLAYTIME! P-L-A-Y-T-I-M-E………

With the current interest in letters and singing of the ABC song along with the phonic game on the fridge this show is perfect for my soon turning preschooler. It’s full of energy and emotion that he’ll stop to listen. We pretend together and with siblings as well.

Songs, stories and movement activities for pre-school children inspired by popular themes.

This is also part of BBC programming for schools.

Playtime

Barefoot books podcast

I’m a big advocate for diversity in book and literature with my family of boys we just love the Barefoot Books as they have a range of stories both traditional and from different cultures. We always have lots to talk about seeing the people and places in these books. Now you can read along or just listen to your favourite books.

Barefoot books publish a huge range of stories and many of them for the over 5s so watch out for the themes.

Barefoot books

We’ve been experimenting with audio and listening recently and have tried them at our family dinner time. Instead of the usual hustle and bustle we listened to a story and then discussed it afterwards. It was really a different way to celebrate dinner together.

We’ve tried the traditional sit down and listen but this doesn’t work as well for us . It’s been great tidy up ‘music’ and listen to in the morning music before everyone is awake.

Photo credit: Birmingham Public Library (AL)

When do you listen to audio and what do you listen to?

3 must have places to bookmark for preschool listening is a post from: Play-Activities.com
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Meet our latest kitchen addition.

The one benefit of having lots of boxes from a move is the endless fun you can have with them.

I’ve been on the lookout for a kitchen set for a long time but everything I’ve seen didn’t fit for one reason or another. We’ve never been shy about our creations even if they don’t look the greatest I’ve never been shy to share them. Some will laugh and point the finger and I hope you are inspired to do better then. The best thing about these types of project is how we all get involved. It’s not about how perfect it looks but how functional.

Two brothers

This is how the minds of two brothers think for their little brother one Easter holiday….with a little help from mum.

Small empty box wrapped in white paper

Kids:We don’t want to see that writing and maybe we can paint it

Me: Thank goodness as I kept meaning to get a better covering for it.

Kids: We need bits on the top……[looking around the room] How would I draw a circle?

Me: Introduces a cereal bowl.

Kids: off to find paper. Problem 1- no paper in the size for 4 burners so improvise with white ( we’ll colour it) and red card – probably left over from St George’s day craft.

squabble over who will do what…….

Brother runs off with paper ….

Discussion about distracting the LO and working together. MO decides to play or distract his brother while the BG can quickly finish the colouring and cutting.

Peace …… negotiation complete

me: How do you turn it on then?

Kids: run off. MO comes back with lid from a bottle. Puts it on the box. Lots of different bottle tops tried. Some from things in use………….

A little while later, the DIY stove is fully functional with Chef MO cooking up a feast and Chef LO lining up the ingredients.

There were more steps inbetween these.  Lots of excitement, diversions, breaks for snacks etc But over the course of one morning it was completed.

This picture was taken at bedtime as activity is too fast and furious during sessions. The beauty of this stove is………

portable

homely

precious

full of memories

lovingly made

Designed and mostly made by brothers for their brother

played with by all.

Don’t be put off with making your own play activities or encouraging your children to do so.

If you’re looking for a comprehensive list of DIY projects check out childhood 101.

Sorry ….. I have to go………..been invited around for some tea and a baked bean tin?

This post is part of the meme We Play: Pop on over and view the other players

DIY kids play stove is a post from: Play-Activities.com
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10 Tips for a Fun Family Evening That Won’t Break the Bank

In a tough economy, one of the smartest choices a family can make is to stay in and have fun at home. Here is a list of my favorite money saving ideas for an evening with the family that won’t break the bank.

1. Make Hot Fudge Sundaes

Rather than spending a fortune going out to a restaurant, why not make dinner at home and then enjoy some homemade hot fudge sundaes? All it takes is some ice cream and a few toppings, and your kids will think they have died and gone to heaven. Special Note: This can also serve as a great reward children can earn for good grades or behavior.

2. Make Up Funny Stories

Kids really seem to love it when parents join in on this one. One person simply starts a story, and the next one adds a line, and so on, and so on, until everyone is laughing too hard to even finish the story. This can make for one hilarious evening.

3. Sock Puppets

Sock puppet performances are always a hit, no matter what. All you need are a few old socks(or new ones if you wish) and some random craft supplies. Have each member of the family create their own character and then act out a story involving them all. This is a fun activity for everyone in the family, especially when everyone really gets into it.

4. Draw Family Portraits

Drawing family portraits together can be a fun way to get the artistic juices flowing in the home. Kids will love this time to be creative, and it is always interesting to see how each person perceives the family as a whole. Besides, whose refrigerator couldn’t use a few more masterpieces?

5. Sing Karaoke

Singing karaoke is something that any family can enjoy. All you need is a radio and a makeshift microphone.(I find a wooden spoon or a hair brush works great for this!) And the best part is, it doesn’t matter how great a person is at singing, because this simply makes for a more memorable evening. Usually, the worse one is at singing . . . the better!

6. Act Out Family Stories

Retelling some of your favorite family stories is always hilarious, but acting them out is even better. Kids enjoy the ability to relive their favorite stories, and everyone gets a chance to work together while acting out the scenes. A nice twist is to allow the person telling the story to act as the “director”. This can make for some pretty hilarious moments, and it always makes for one incredible evening.

7. Dress Up in Halloween Costumes

Dressing up in Halloween costumes is a hilarious activity to do as a family, no matter what time of the year it is. It is so much fun to have a contest as well, to see who can come up with the best costume. As a spin-off into more family fun, the person that wins the costume contest then gets to pick the next game for the family to enjoy together. Kids love playing this game, and it can get quite competitive.

8. Paint a Room Together

I know it seems a bit like it may violate some sort of child labor laws, but it can be an amazing experience to paint a room together as a family. If you have a room where you can spare a wall, one of the best things to do is allow your kids to paint whatever they want on a wall. This can be a fun way to get a job done and also make kids feel like they are truly contributing to the family as a whole. Kids get to leave their mark on the family home, a task gets completed, and everyone enjoys an evening of laughter and bonding.

9. Have a Tea Party

Although it’s primarily a great game choice for families with young girls, families with boys shouldn’t count out the idea of a tea party. It doesn’t have to be all dresses and dolls, and it provides a great way for kids of all ages to learn proper manners. Girls go nuts over this, and if there are snacks involved, your boys will love it too!

10. Organize Family Photos or Scrapbook

If your family has a lot of random unorganized photos laying around, consider working together as a family to get them arranged in a photo album. Another option would be to create a scrapbook that highlights family events or specific memories. Either option will provide everyone with an enjoyable evening of reminiscing about the memories captured in the photographs.

These are ten things that any family can do at home and that don’t cost a lot of money. My family has enjoyed these activities for years, and hopefully, now your family can enjoy them too.

Byline: Sally is an avid guest blogger who enjoys informing and educating parents about cost effective ways to spend their family leisure time. When she’s not busy writing, she enjoys bonding with her husband and prepping her home for their soon to be newborn child.

10 Tips for a Fun Family Evening That Won’t Break the Bank is a post from: Play-Activities.com
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