January 23rd, 2012 31 days to a more Playful Tot {Day Twenty Three} Problem solving Posted by Melitsa in 31 days, Media, play activities, Sites to visit

Some days you just get blown away by the simplicity of a message. Today was that day.

Do you ever find yourself  doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. What about the children do you see that in them? How do you get them to move to a point where they can set simple goals and achieve them. Concentrate and persevere in an age appropriate manner.

I’m a totally a visual person so really appreciated Dr Becky Bailey  demonstrations and explanation on the importance of developing the executive state in the frontal lobe. Before you switch off thinking oh no brain science how will this impact my child let me encourage you with a few highlights.

Read More…

January 10th, 2012 31 days to a more Playful Tot {Day Ten} The Power of Questions Posted by Melitsa in 31 days, Education, Memes, play activities, Sites to visit, Thought of the week

Every now and then I’m reminded about how I need to give my son’s choices.

Choices that I can live with. Not any old choice.

I eagerly absorbed the principles and practises of Love and Logic, after attending a course in 2004. The power of choice seemed like a really good idea. I felt I was ahead of the curve. It worked.

Our next child threw us the curve ball and now we looked at 123 Magic. We now had a mix of ideas. I was glad for the different ideas as it made me think. There you go made me think so I needed to make sure that if I wanted to raise thinking children I needed to give them opportunities to make them think.

This is not new. None of us like to be told what to do all the time. However in our time pressured society we just don’t have the time, usually to give choices. I’ve talked about our walk to Nursery and how I needed to slow down and effectively smell the coffee. Today I want to talk about how the power of questions can really change your children’s outlook.

The biggest battle of wills

They don’t want to do or have what you are offering because you are only telling them. With their new voice, No is the best word in the world. They see the power. We need to give them chance to say, Yes!

Love and Logic, if I remember rightly, encourage as many choices as you can. We never thought that made total sense for our family.Partly because we’re just not able to think of at least two choices for everything we want to do at the time.  You have to think carefully.

Do you want to wear the blue shirt or the red shirt here?

Neither shirt is a problem to you.

They are more playful when they feel like they’ve had a say in their environment. So are we. It involved a change of mindset for us to think this way constantly.

Oatmeal or cereal?       OJ or milk?          This book or that book?

Learning can be either passive or active. Passive learning is when the parent is responsible for all learning conditions. Parents direct and children comply. Passive learning is easier for parents to do than active learning, but less beneficial for children….. Active learning is not only more exciting for children but usually results in better intellectual development

Ready to Learn: Goldberg

It starts simply with things like choosing which socks, and even this can seem like a hassle but they really love it. It’s part of the power we can give away. It continues with choices about food and learning how to express preference clearly and nicely, whether they be negative, neutral or positive. It continues with dinner games and question cards and leads to full discussions and learning about our children.

Communicating our values

Values are communicated and if we don’t’ hear what our children are thinking we have no chance of communicating our values to them in a way that they’ll be able to take on new information and make good choices about to do with these thoughts. I’m sure you’ve had the experience that what came out of your mouth was alien to what you thought you’d ever really say or even believe. But in the saying you realized it and perhaps changed or did something about it.

Yesterday we were reviewing our chore list for the umpteenth time. I want it to work. They want it to work. It breaks down regularly. After listening to a show about entitlement I decided to battle the chore problem yet again.
This time I added a time element….. It boiled down to having three chores and them deciding when to do them. Immediately they both sussed they didn’t need to do each chore each day. They had to decide when they would do it, how often etc. They asked me a lot of questions. Do I expect they will be perfect? No. But here’s a great opportunity to try out their decision-making process.

Last evening, over dinner, I asked how their chores went for the day. Proudly the oldest gave me his reasoning of why he’s decided to do his that way. His middle brother was listening. The middle one gave his very different version. I was able to ask how did it work for you? ( In true Dr Phil fashion!) We had an interesting dialogue about the struggles and they asked and each gave different answers.

Decision- making and the power of questions

At that moment, for the briefest of time, it didn’t matter if they had done the chores. Here they were actively discussing decision-making; the pitfalls of their brother’s ideas and congratulating them on what they did. I loved the process. The chores, to be honest were executed pretty well but they are a long work in progress.
It’s not always like this but I really believe the foundation of choices and active learning helps them to make decisions. They know we have each others back and we’re not afraid with our advice if we’re not sure.

How do you translate the power of questions into your family?

Click here to read the rest of the posts in the series, 31 Days to a more Playful Tot.

November 2nd, 2011 Cultural Exchange Posted by Melitsa in Education, Homemade, Memes, Podcast, Sites to visit, Thought of the week

Melissa over at Chasing Cheerios mentioned a Cultural Exchange  just before the Summer. It sounded a great idea.

The idea was to send a packgae out that represented your country to a group of people. Melissa coordinated the whole thing. We were in a group of 6 people. 6 packages- how difficult would that be?

Naturally life gets busy during the summer. My husband was back after a year deployment so life was hectic. The kids also spent a large portion with Grandparents. I didn’t want to send activities for them to do. Hanging out with the Grandparents was all that was required.

So September rolls around and back to school. Again super busy. The boys and I worked really  hard on finding UK things and what they wanted.

This is what we selected for our package. Each one was a little different.

• ELC money in Euros and Sterling
• Twining fruit Tea. (We’re big fruit tea drinkers but we were thinking of the kids- no caffeine!)
• Mini chocolate digestives ( I had to buy a second packet the first packets got…er..um eaten)
• Love hearts and traditional sweets
• keyring with a tourist attraction from the UK/London. Here we have the traditional phone box. Not many of these around.
• Make a flag activity
• Information pack about the K including recipes
• Drawn picture of a Beefeater costume.

Imagine that duplicated 6 times. It was an interesting time at the post office sending these off.

Next the wait…….

So far we’ve received one from Arizonia and one from Japan.

The boys are beyond excited to open them up. We unpacked them at Dinnertime.

If you get the chance to participate in an exchange….do!

There are lots of physical swaps online. I spoke about the International Postcard Swap  on the podcast recently.

Have you participated in any swaps? Share the links below

August 31st, 2011 Collage and sculpture inspirations Posted by Melitsa in language, play activities, Seasonal play, Sites to visit, Thought of the week

On a recent visit to an Art Gallery in Prague, Czech Republic. I was delighted to come up against these wonderful collages or sculpture by Shalom Tomas Neuman.
Love how everyday toys, electronic items are used to create really zany pictures.

You can see more about the work here,

Art at home does not’ have to be about pen, crayons and paper. Hope you’re inspired from your environment too.

What art work have you taken your little ones to see that you would recommend?

August 8th, 2011 Finding LEGO Posted by Melitsa in Articles, Education, play activities, Sites to visit, Thought of the week

It’s probably something that most of us can relate to in the popular book, Too Many Toys by David Shannon, of the poor dad stepping on LEGO pieces.

LEGO this summer has come into its own with all the boys. With our age span from 3 to 8 now we have many different types.

On a recent visit to Jen of Muminthemadhouse the LO played with her boy’s LEGO Space set. It was a rare and not forgotten treat.

All the way home he talked about the “Plane” meaning shuttle. Other peoples LEGO is so exciting and it makes you think and create in different ways.

We’ve been happy to find huge tubs of it a car book sales lately. While I’m happy for the boys my heart aches for hoovering around that stuff. So far the grand finds have been at their Grandparents’ house so they are getting the pleasure of LEGO. I know in a few weeks though that all most of  that LEGO will be making it’s way back here.

What keeps me sane with LEGO?

Letting go!

I know that LEGO will be around the house. It’s really not the biggest deal. We live in our home and always have. I expect to see that kids live in a home and one of their things is that they drift and leave stuff. I love that active play in them to do this.

Listening

Have you listened to your kids, when they don’t know you’re there, playing with LEGO? It’s a joy! They so totally get into it and absorbed. The situations and scenarios they play out are long and complex. Yes some of them are based upon familiar characters but I’ve seen a lot of crossover from books, real life and just imagination.

Time

LEGO has been a huge hit this summer and 3 little boys have sat, squirmed and rushed around for huge swathes of time inside and out setting their own play. They’ve completely got lost in the play and can’t believe it’s meal time or anything else. That’s a great thing! It’s how I remember summer being.

Light flash!

Today I hit upon and idea that just works well for me. Hoovering is hard.I don’t want to suck up those little extra pieces but it happens, at times. So I found a box and as I was tidying the room for hoovering I dropped the pieces in there. I did this for two rooms. Look at the booty I found!

I think the boys will love me! More Lego is like ice cream- you just can’t have enough!

It’s a simple tip that perhaps you already did but it’s saved my sanity. I don’t feel so annoyed and frustrated at all these little pieces.

Sometimes WE choose the toys that suit US as parents for ease of use, lack of pieces, quick, expensive, electronic, no mess because it’s EASIER for us. It’s not that we do all the opposites of those listed we have our days too when we need to do differently.

What I’m trying to do though is find a way for the boys to participate in unstructured and the messy and make it work in our home. Intentionally finding a way to make play opportunities work that are ideal and welcomed because they allow the kids to shine and play in ways that will surprise.

This box…. sets me on the road.

Photo credit: justmalia

Do you have any LEGO storage tips for me?

P.S I would love to do this for the boys room. What a creative way to store LEGO!