Spending the time to complete one of these sets really does pay off in the long term even if in the short term you feel like you’re going crazy.
Why you may wonder do you see a picture of this castle!
This castle and I have some history and time together.
Let me go back to the beginning.
Thomas……….the tank engine.
Like all parents we bought our first set of trains and tracks when our son was barely 1. He was happy to eat the tracks and not much else. By two he played on the tracks but the tracks were apart more than together. But since it was a circle or maybe a figure of eight track everyone could handle that.
Gifts and enthusiastic parents added to this simple set and a huge lucky find at a car book sale lead us to practically having the island of Sodor in our house.
We boxed everything up for easy access and use. But now of course we had so many pieces we could have a ball with the configurations. It became the challenge. Who could make the most elaborate track? It never started that way. But as the kids handed you a bridge or track that curved you had to add 5 pieces just to get to another side.
Life had become complicated.
The other side was that a 2 and 3 year old is clumsy so they would regularly spoil and break the beautiful construction.
30 minutes of hard sweat and almost tears- poof- now the floor looked like Armageddon.
I knew then back in 2004 that my spatial skills better improve or I’m in for trouble with this boy. Little did I know that I would have two more boys and this little problem would just get worse.
You would think with time and plenty of practice that I would improve. But I haven’t….not really.
I weep with joy inside when I’ve made this amazing construction and take pictures and celebrate with the mummy dance. I DID IT! IT FITS TOGETHER. Because I want to remember and repeat but spend less time and have a lot less emotion invested. By the time I have turned off the camera. Placed it on a high shelf ( climbing toddler) I hear a voice, “Mum! He’s broken it! Can you fix it?”
Silence and deep breathing from me. “Please!” comes a little voice from the other room.Melts my aching heart and in I go again for round 2 of a long fight to establish the Thomas tracks in the house this morning.
As they have gotten older I’ve been able to step back and become the train consultant. Brought into to fix misaligned tracks and loop under the bridge to connect with another part of the track. I’m not qualified for this task but none of us seems to mind as we all blunder along together. We regularly had a disaster strike to a particularly tricky part of the track to cover all our inadequacies…………ok mine for not being able to fix it. We’d smile and move on.
This castle came in 100s of little bits and no kidding I spent a frustrating 55 minutes working on this the other day with oh so helpful sons who laid all the same colour pieces together. Matched like with like and gave pieces of advice…….gently as they could see my frustration rising. No pretend castles or battles today to save me. They wanted a castle.
Defeated after an hour I gave up. Offered another toy to pretend with. They gave me hug and told me that I had tried my best then said we’ll get dad. He’s always does it. We wanted to give you a chance first. I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or give them a hug. I did the first and last before sulking away defeated.
No kidding……………………..10 minutes later the castle and the pirate ship arrived finished to beaming children.
Will I be hanging up my hat?
No. Although it frustrates me that I can’t seem to get how these configuration things work………..Lego, castle, pirate ship………..there are going to be more in my future, I can just tell. I accept my spatial inadequacies and persevere. I hope I learn eventually and am thankful that there are plenty of people around me that aren’t spatially challenged to rescue help me. If you’re not spatially challenged I’ve always fantasized about owning a Thomas the tank engine ebook manual where there is a lovely picture to select. List of all the track pieces. I find all the pieces and it tells me which order to lay the track. “Lay piece 1a then the bridge followed by 1b” Music to my ears. That would be sweet!
Learning that is associated with these play activities has been priceless. The negotiation of social skills, hurt feelings, high emotion, frustration, dedication, perseverance and deferred gratification.
Toys of choice right now: Pirate ship and castle. Two weeks going strong , guarded and loved.
We’re always teaching even when we think we’re not. They are always watching and imitating.
There comes a time in every toddlers life when dumping and filling is the best thing ever to do.
Now comes the battle because they don’t discriminate with what to dump or where they dump. Both those situations cause us as parents to be listening to those quiet times because although they are lovely for us they also can spell TROUBLE.
Toddlers can concentrate for a long time perfecting the same activity with minor variations. This unstructured time is crucial with toddler development. Yet it is exactly what we limit at most times because it’s the WRONG time or thing.
We have a few areas in the house that if you set out a few unstructured toys the LO will stay there and play for a while.
If we lay down a blanket he likes to sit on it and play with a few toys right there
He’ll stay there and play. Just like if you sit a child in front of the TV they stay and stare at the screen.
What’s going on?
The LO is interacting with the buttons; feeling texture, shapes and noticing colour. ( Probably have a bite as well for good measure )
Enjoying the sound of the falling buttons and attempting to imitate his preschool brother’s activity of threading the buttons.
He is directing this learning and moving at his own pace making discoveries. He toddles over to me to show me things but mostly he is just happy and interested in his ‘work’ of play. It’s a chance to truly experiment and be creative without the usual restrictions of…well everyone.
What about the screen?
When he’s watching the screen of the DVD it is a lot more passive. Things happen to him. He has no control over the music, sounds, colours, objects and actions that happen. By the time he catches my attention even if I’m there it is hard to tell which scene he is referring to.
Large periods of time
I’ve found that large periods of downtime and unstructured play with my toddlers have encouraged longer periods of concentration when they can entertain themselves. They are driven to find creative ways of play because they have had the time to motivate themselves.
It isn’t a magic cure. Just another great thing to know about your child.
By not providing a start and and end point of a DVD as their measure of a play period they learn that play can be a fixed time and can also be extended especially if you’re loving what you are doing.
They are keen to discover a new object that’s been rotated into the toy collection or a special item they have seen their brother use but not been able to share at the time.
DVDs and electronic toys are a regular routine in many homes for various reasons. Have you considered having a regular routine of unstructured time? Each day there is a fixed period and open ended items where you child has no fear of being stopped ( OK unless it is unsafe) but allowed to develop a skill they have been forcing on you all week.
………………for us dumping and filling is our life right now. School backpacks dumped and a shoe now left inside, tissue boxes emptied with a toy car replacement, Puzzle draw emptied and used as a stepping stool to a higher shelf. The relocation of stuff back takes time and makes us all a little frazzle. ( Especially on Library book morning)
They will get into everything with their dumping and filling. Can we turn this fraught time and high emotion ( as they go for the vase of flowers with the water or the sugar container or the cereal boxes) into a better time? Yes. We can with a little routine and freedom.
Share your dumping and filling experiences. What have you used as a play activity for dumping and filling?
There has been talk lately about talking directly to your child about race instead of hoping that they get the message that “We are all the same”. Whatever your take or stance on whether that last message is the right one or not we live in a diverse society. It’s up to us to teach and lead our children.
Whether you mention race at home or live in a diverse neighbourhood. We live in a diverse world. Here are a few quick and easy ways to include diversity in play. There are many other ways and many other things to do but at the very least having some play items from around the world will start the discussion and maybe lead to a story.
React and get rid of all commercial pretend play dressing up clothes
I don’t think this would teach them anything but to covet and long for these items even more. Limit the amount of play with commercial dressing up clothes from licensed products
This I now do more intentionally. Those items just disappear from their boxes for a time and the drs, vets, jesters,firemen, king costumes etc that are now lurking at the bottom get an air out and play. Yes they do ask me where their other costumes have gone with worried faces. They are old enough and used to rotation of toys that they understand that they will be back. They do come back. Introduce pretend play ideas
It is never too late, in my opinion to introduce fun and new ways to play. You can turn a child’s fascination and joy into another direction by showing them new ways. Now they may not want to do or continue to do what you suggest but the willingness of you to suggest and play with them usually is enough for them to give it a try out.
You have to get into it and really go with your best acting skills. Your child knows you so knows when you’re being half-hearted, as we know with them. Bluff and enthusiasm covers so much doubt and our feelings of inadequacy as parents. They don’t care that your voice is off key or that your costume is lame or your story making needs more structure…………we cripple ourselves with that worry. They love the interaction.
Here’s what I am going to try
Note 3 books that they love in the next week that are not to do with a superhero, which shouldn’t be too difficult given that less than 3% of our books are like that.
Think about the characters in those stories
Think about what I have around the house that I could use for the characters. With these 3 rules. Everyday items, keep it simple and easy to reproduce again.
When we/they read those books I’ll introduce my character with a new voice. Perhaps I’ll continue the story or go before the story.
Now since it’s not a mum show I’ll ask lots of questions to get them into the story. “What will happen to him next?” Where should he go? How should she do that? show me where the secret house is located? Tell me what happens next…… gradually easing out of the story and letting them continue.
Now they have a framework of a story and how to get there from a common storybook to pretend playing in costume and role. It’s not my story and neither will I say, that’s not how it goes.
Other things to encourage a range of role playing pretend play ideas I wish I had done at the beginning
Added sheets, pillow cases and lengths of material to their boxes. Shown them how the green duvet is grass today and magic carpet tomorrow.
Bought some ends of materials with various textures or visited the charity shops for sheets, curtains, ropes.
Visit the charity shops and allowed them to browse with story telling in mind. That funny shaped cup could have held a secret. Bought unusual things to add to their box.
Encouraged any of the places we visited like the Parent coop and preschool to encourage dressing up as characters from stories. The only dress ups actively encouraged was Halloween. Kids did come all the time dressed up in wellies or other costumes but there wasn’t a special day like World book day or a specific broad theme, like the nativity that you couldn’t sneak a superhero costume in. Although I’m sure there were a few princess costumes doubling as angel costumes.
I do worry about their story telling abilities if they are left to play superheroes and princesses all the time.
As parents and carers we need to be active encouraging a range of play opportunities. I’m looking for ideas. How would you and how do you deal with the Superhero/Princess invasion into their pretend play.
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