Comparisons hurt, harm and are useful.
If I asked you what type of parenting style do you support with play. What would you say?
It wasn’t until I was in a different country in a totally different situation did I realize that I my idea of play was different. It was then I wondered am I doing it right?
We don’t all move. We often have the same friends and same circles.
Is there a right way to play? If there is, who do I listen to? What about my family and individualism?
Knowing your own mind takes time to develop. We come with all the baggage of our childhood and family relationships. Now we have a playful tot to raise and lots of decisions to make on important issues like TV time, electronic media, mobile media, organic toys, wooden toys, plastic toys, Montessori, Waldorf, classes, playgroups, the list goes on. Our mind isn’t just made up on all issues- just like that.
How do you develop your mind so you don’t just follow the crowd?
Knowing your mind in 25 steps
- Look at your children and learn how they work.
- Go to trusted sources. You have to decide who they are.
- Accept advice as just that advice– what worked for them may or maynot work for you.
- Try new things
- Share your ideas. Other people see things you may not see.
- Have encouraging and supportive friends
- Your children will make you cry and despair but they have the capacity to make you laugh and weep with joy if we create opportunities for that to happen more than once in a while.
- Accept and reject things as the season changes in your family
- Create plans.
- Educate yourself in the areas you lack
- Beware of bandwagons
- Ask questions…..ruminate on ideas….feel free to adapt, transform or drop ideas….after careful thought.
- Find and talk to people who have been there before you. It’s amazing how much perspective they will give you.
- observe families who you admire. Try out what they are doing.
- Sometimes you need to take a break and focus on other things like your marriage, home, work, career, goals, dreams or ambitions. Not just your kids will thank you for it.
- Parenting is not a competition. Some are further along than I am. I’ll be further along than someone else.
- Everyone has problems. No one is perfect
- Discuss your ideas, opinions and direction with your spouse, friends and family- they know you and will often give you interesting advice ( some good and some not so good)
- It’s okay to be different. Different isn’t automatically bad or good.
- Have thought provoking twitter and facebook friends. They will challenge you in good ways.
- Remember that sticking your head in the sand doesn’t work there has to be another way.
- Encourage people who try things out- they are actively working on knowing their mind ( You can learn from their successes and failures)
- Compare yourself less to those around you. Some comparison is good but be careful
- We don’t need to know all the answers and get it right the first time. We can let many things just go and roll with it,however we have to decide which ones we do intentionally.
I’m working on No.21 this year. What about you I’m curious?
What are you doing to ‘know your mind’ on issues in 2012?
Are there any areas you find the hardest to do?
Click here to read the rest of the posts in the series, 31 Days to a more Playful Tot.
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